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Shoes Do Not Make the Man… Sneakers Do Not Make the Boy
“Can you take me to get new shoes instead of ice cream?” The little voice called from the backseat. “I REALLY need new shoes.” “Bud, you just got new shoes. Your Mom took you on Tuesday.” I...
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Mobile Email: Everything You Need To Know & Then Some….
I got a lot of emails about last week’s post, Five Low-Cost Things You Should Be Doing Today To Improve Your Email Program. Most of the questions and comments were about mobile emails and if/how they...
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Five Low–Cost Things You Should Be Doing Today: Email Edition
Check ALL Your From Addresses. It amazes me how many companies still email from hideous email addresses. Open Sky mails from Member Alert with subject lines like “look what we have found for you.”...
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Secure Your Own Oxygen Masks Before You Help Others & More BS Concepts
My right hand was turning a weird shade of eggplant-blue. My seatmate (let’s affectionately call her 3F) was clawing so hard and so fast, it wouldn’t be too long before her pointy nails...
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She’ll Have Tea. Hold the Water.
“I think I need to start drinking coffee.” I told Barbara (formerly known as Cristina.) “Nah, just drink tea.” She wrote back. It took every ounce of self-control I had to not remind her that the...
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Bad Grown-Ups Say Hallelujah
“I’m too hot. Hot damn. Girls hit your hallelujah. Cause I’m going to funkngiveittoya.” The ladies’ gasps were audible. While he danced and sang like nobody was watching (ahhh, the delicious irony),...
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Questions & Answers from the VT/NH Direct Marketing Group Event
Last week, I spoke at a VT/NH Direct Marketing Group event along with Kevin Hillstrom of Mine That Data and Bill LaPierre of Datamann. At the end of the day, we took about an hour to answer questions...
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The Unholy Trinity Unites for the Can’t-Miss-Event of the Year!*
On February 19, 2015 Bill LaPierre, Kevin Hillstrom and yours truly will be hosting a seminar entitled “Who’s Looking Out For Your Interests?” in Concord, NH.** This info-packed, day-long seminar...
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Duct Tape and Spit: Ideas To Improve Your Holiday Season Without Breaking the...
For the past month or so, I’ve been getting a lot of emails from folks who are worried about the upcoming Holiday season. Most of them are on “lockdown” (meaning no new projects till after Christmas)...
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Mobile-Schmobile: 6 Sure-Fire Tips on How You Can Improve Your Mobile...
When I began my internet career, my first “legitimate” email address was a CompuServe number. Back then, if you told someone you were doing work on the web (or the WWW as it was ever-so-fondly called),...
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The Biggest Mistakes Catalogers Make When It Comes to eCommerce… Part 1
Catalogers and other offline marketers have many advantages when it comes to eCommerce. Unfortunately, most of them don’t leverage their benefits. What’s even more demoralizing? They often turn their...
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3 of Your Most Pressing eCommerce Questions… Answered!
Last week, I asked on Twitter if you had any eCommerce questions that I could answer. I was inundated with email replies. Here are the first three: Jessa from Austin asks: “I walked in late at a...
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5 of the BIGGEST Lies Conversion Consultants Are Telling You Right Now!
Lie #1: “Improving conversion starts with color testing your buttons. Button testing is THE most important thing because red/orange/green/rainbow/polka-dotted/zebra-spotted buttons perform x times...
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Never Befriend A Man Named Hussein
Please note: this is not a post about Obama. I’ve already addressed how my brother saved his life once and I’m not going down that rabbit hole again. Ever. Too many full-tilt crazy people and LRAs...
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8 Things That Drive Your Users Bat-Sh*t Crazy
“I saw you in the gym. You’re very strong.” He said. “Especially for a girl.” It was 6:11 am and the silver-haired gentleman standing outside my door was wearing a burgundy-colored, Hugh Hefner-style...
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Faking Orgasms
The woman in Room #837 is faking an orgasm. I know this because I’m five feet outside her door in this “luxury” Sydney hotel listening to her. (The only thing “luxury” about this place is the amount...
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Trespassing on Private Property….
I ignored the cruiser lights flashing behind me. I knew why the cop was trying to pull me over but I was more interested in PR’ing the hill. According to my Garmin I was 33 seconds ahead of my...
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My Brother Saved Obama’s Life…
So, the other day Obama did something that completely sent me over the edge. And frankly, it made me want to kill the guy. This isn’t a political blog and before you start yapping about whatever devil...
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De Da De Da De Da Do Do.
When I was first starting out in usability (walking uphill both ways to work in raging blizzards with only cardboard scraps taped to my bare feet), there weren’t any best practices or proven methods...
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Malcolm X Lied To Me….
When I was nine, I read The Autobiography of Malcolm X. In the book, Malcolm X gets high by taking nutmeg. Innovative, right? Yeah. Not. So.Much. Malcolm X is a liar. Nutmeg, especially ingested in...
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